What they didn’t tell you
- ricrotaract
- Jan 29, 2022
- 4 min read
You’re not special
You are not that important to others as you think you might be and I’m here to tell you that it is okay. Fantasizing about becoming the main character of someone else’s life is a step towards misery and sorrow. The truth is you are always on your own; irrespective of the few or many that you’re surrounded with, so why not show some love and take care of your own self? You must be the hero of your own life, thereupon create healthy boundaries and prioritize your own self. That way, others’ mistreatments wouldn’t bother you at all.
Just like Orla Joan sings, “You’re not special, Babe”. The song is written to remind herself that everyone goes through all of the good times, bad times, strange times, dizzying highs and extreme lows.
Become a monster
Don’t be a harmless person. Being harmless doesn’t mean that you are a good person; it simply means that you are defenseless. Have the courage to become a dangerous person with virtues. Be willing to become a beast who knows how to control his/her emotions. Transform yourself into a monster with discipline, so you know how to interact with negativity, criticism, evil and despair.
The protagonist in J. K. Rowling’s novel series; Harry Potter is like that too. He’s got evil in him, he can talk to snakes, he breaks the rules all the time and he’s not obedient at all. But he has good reasons for breaking the rules. If he didn’t break the rules, he wouldn’t attain his highest goal. That’s how the character appears very fascinating to the audience. The hero has to be a monster; but a controlled one.
Hustling culture is toxic
Reading all the self improving books, watching motivational videos, following self help gurus, taking cold showers every morning, exercising daily, eating healthy, meditating and waking up at 4 am in the morning are all elements in today’s “Hustling culture”. It all begins with an insecurity that you had noticed you have. That very unstable emotion would guide yourself towards these products of self help industry. This is where you tell yourself that “Enough is enough” and be on a desperate journey to change your life. You surround yourself with a new bunch of people who are trying to transform themselves into their alpha versions, you decide to work hard while others party and become the most hard working person in the room. And that’s where the traps await…..
It’s the addiction! The materials themselves aren’t addictive but what they do to your brain is. The rush of dopamine gets you hooked into them. You read one book after the other, watch one video after the other; but did you really take action? The temporary motivation you obtained could draw an illusion of accomplishment in your mind or a sense of progress. You are already feeling great about yourself but looking at the big picture, you’ve actually done nothing.
International best-selling author, M. J. DeMarco has introduced a concept called “Action faking” in his book, Unscripted: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Entrepreneurship. It is the same as doing things that make you think you’re making progress when you’re not. Once the bubble bursts, you would be pulled back into a much deeper hole than you were in before. While you are consuming these products and being burned out, remember that someone else is profiting in billions.
This is why it is very important to know that execution always comes first and motivation follows. If it’s the other way around, it simply guarantees inconsistency.
You don’t have to write down your goals two times a day and read them out loud to achieve them. Working a 9-5 job and leading an average life does not make you a failure. You are doing just fine. There will always be people who perform better than you, there will always be people who are suffering, some people are stuck in their darkest times and some people are just blessed to have comforting people around them. Whatever state that you’re in right now, be proud of yourself that you’ve come this far!
If you’re sick and tired of everything
Do nothing.
That would be the simplest answer but let’s dig deeper than that. You don’t need to write a list of things that you’re grateful for and just snap out of it. Let yourself feel that you’re drowning and know that this phase would eventually fade away. There’s no one way to feel immediately better nor there’s one ritual that guarantees happiness.
Different personalities have different coping mechanisms which are shaped by the media consumption, childhood traumas, friends and colleagues, etc.
The lesser you’re clinging into the adversity, the sooner you’ll be able to get back on track. Just like the stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, “Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been”.
Written By : Rtr. Nadeshda Watagala
Edited By : Rtr. Dulithi Jagoda
Design By : Rtr. Nethmi Hasna Fernando
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