Self improvement 101: Building a better you
- ricrotaract
- Aug 21, 2021
- 4 min read
A healthy approach
Making a self-improvement plan is hard if you first don’t have self-awareness about what is wrong and what you are trying to change. When you’re able to recognize the areas in which you are struggling, you will be able to make a better plan for change. For instance, if you find it hard to become a well-organized person, before searching for a solution, you might want to identify the thoughts you have (Ex: I am a very messy person), how they make you feel (Ex: I will never get organized) and how it affects you physically (Ex: I feel tired all the time).
In addition, figuring out a form of reward for your own good behaviour, preplanning coping strategies to deal with obstacles, appointing an accountability partner and breaking down your goals to manageable chunks are all effective approaches that push you through your self-improvement journey.
It’s important to learn that the plan you developed should allow for readjustments along the way. By reflecting on past mistakes, you allow yourself to evaluate what went wrong, how you can do things differently in the future and where you still have room for growth. Finally, remember that any movement in positive direction is progress no matter how small or how long it takes. Just know that the time and effort you invest will be rewarded in the end!
Personalized for you
Honestly, there is no “one size fits all” approach to self-improvement. Regardless of how well researched a method is, if it is not a good fit for you, you won’t find it helpful. The reason for this is that each of us have unique situations in terms of personality, culture and family background. Therefore, it’s wise to say that it often comes down to a gut feeling. This is exactly why practices such as journaling and waking up early do not work for everyone!
Dear diary – Or not
Journaling benefits in tracking your goals, creating a habit of writing, clearing your head from jumbled thoughts, healing post trauma, creating mindfulness and generally in improving oneself. True that journaling helps for some but does it really do that for everyone?
It’s overwhelming to find journaling being stated as a mandatory action in most of self-help books, blogs or videos in order to make yourself a better person the fact that we are supposed to feel better after writing in a journal is just unhealthy.
If you’re on your self-improvement journey and you hate journaling, that’s more than okay. As Ann Handley says, “What’s the point of writing things you already know to yourself? Day after day? Soooooo. Boooooring”. Instead, if you’re interested in putting your thoughts out to the world, it’s suggested to follow the idea of using a social media platform, which also builds a sense of community. Parker Molloy, an American writer, and transgender activist uses Twitter for a “thankfulness thread” in which she tweets one thing every night that she’s thankful for, which is out of the traditional journaling aspect.
Waking up early has got nothing to do with success
A common misconception regarding being successful is that if you wake up early, you will be successful. YouTube gurus advising their audiences to wake up at 4 or 5 a.m. in the morning in order to improve the quality of their lives.
If you love the feeling of being up before dawn and getting your work done , then waking up early suits you. But if you’re more efficient at night, use those hours to get your work done instead of wasting them trying to trick yourself into sleeping.
If you want to improve yourself, focus on getting better sleep and waking up refreshed. The best way to do that is by learning your circadian rhythm, which is your internal body clock. It determines whether you are a night owl or an early bird and it is also important to state that your circadian rhythm is bound to change over your life time Hence why school age children are generally early birds, teenagers tend to be night owls and adults gradually transit back into being early birds.
If you feel guilty thinking that you are not capable of joining the league of successful people waking up before the sun, let me mention the waking times of a few massively successful people in to prove that waking up early and success are uncorrelated.
Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg; never a morning person and wakes around 8 a.m.
Former English Prime Minister, Winston Churchill did not get out of bed until 11 a.m.
Founder of Reddit, Alexis Ohanian tries to get up by 10 a.m.
Perfectionism and self-improvement
Perfectionism isn’t self-improvement; it hinders achievement and causes pain. Perfectionism is a coping mechanism or an escape of feeling unworthy, rather than a form of being meticulous. Perfectionism is a form of procrastination - the constant urge to achieve high standards delays the process until we are presented with the perfect outcome, which is unlikely.
Perfectionists desperately seek external validation, these are anxious thought patterns affect your performance , they make you feel like there’s no room for self-improvement.
In a nutshell
Before self-improvement comes self-care, and that is hard for some as they do not consider it to be a responsibility they have towards themselves. It’s a process and you are allowed to make mistakes along the way. Feelings of sadness, abandonment and anger explain why sometimes we make progress in self-care and then mysteriously backslide. It’s a matter of sitting with those feelings and feeling them out to get back on track. Remember, self-improvement is your responsibility, your area of self-discovery, healing and growth. So, keep reminding yourself that how you treat yourself matters!
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Content By: Rtr. Nadeshda Watagala, BSc. Economics and finance, 2nd Year
Design By: Rtr. Mohamed Umair Jamal , BSc. Data Science and Business Analytics , 2nd Year
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