Self-Care or Self-Sabotage

What really is self-care?

We all know what self-care is; having a chill day off with a few episodes of friends, a face mask and some ice cream to top it off…right? Well, not always.

With the buzz around self-care in recent times, it is important to have a clear idea of what it really is and understand that it is not always “instagrammable” like most people make it seem. Self-care is taking the necessary steps and actions that would ensure your overall well-being in the long term. In simpler terms, slowing down and taking care of yourself.

It’s important to mention that the definition of self-care practices will vary from person to person. What seems like self-care for you may not be for another person.

How does self-sabotage come into play?

Sometimes it is a very fine line between the concepts of self-care and self-sabotage. As self-care is often perceived as “whatever feels good” it can be difficult to identify whether you’re practicing self-care or actually self-sabotaging. Watching hours and hours of Netflix or splurging on online shopping can feel good if done once in a while, but there comes a point where it’s no longer helping you and ends up doing the opposite.

Distinguishing between self-care and self-sabotage

The answer lies in the intention

If you choose to take a day off to rest and do the things that you enjoy doing, ask yourself if the intention is to wind down from a stressful week or are you just trying to avoid life? If the answer is the latter, then you are not alone. It is common human behaviour to try to numb out and retrieve to a safe zone.

Especially when you don’t have a clear intention or haven’t set any boundaries of self-care for yourself, you begin to trick your brain into thinking that everything is self-care. Self-care is more about creating a lifestyle that enhances your well-being and less about one-off activities.

Bursting the myth of self-care

Myths have it that practicing self-care is being lazy. Self-care is about listening and responding to your mental and physical needs, and the only person who can judge if it’s self-care or laziness is you.

Some aspects that can be used to make this judgement arethe context and the frequency. For instance, if you spend all day in pajamas, in bed, is that considered to be self-care or laziness? If you’re feeling burned out after a hectic week and you’ve taken a day off to wind down, then it is definitely self-care. However, if you keep putting off important tasks and spend all day in bed frequently, then that would become laziness.

Simply put, laziness is trying to avoid doing things, and self-care is recharging your energy so that you can be more efficient.

Some self-care practices to incorporate into your lives

As mentioned above, there is no set definition of self-care practices, and it differs for everyone. The activities mentioned below are just a starting point to find what works for you.

· Do small digital detoxes -start with taking small breaks from digital devices to find time for yourself.

· Feel your feelings – instead of trying to numb down everything, try to express it in whichever way is comfortable for you. It might be jotting it down on a journal or in a painting etc.

· Step out, take a walk - getting some fresh air can be more refreshing than you think

· Physical activities – it may be a quick workout session or a yoga routine; some physical movement can feel good after spending all day in front of a screen.

· Declutter – clean space equals clean mind right!!

This may tend to feel overwhelming at the beginning; however,knowing how to take care of yourself ensures your well-being in the long term and doing it with awareness prevents you from falling into the trap of self-sabotaging.

Written By: Rtr. Purvaja Jayakumar

Edited By: Rtr. Dulithi Jagoda

Design By: Rtr. Chathuka Induwara

References

https://millennialships.com/differences-between-self-care-and-being-lazy/

https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-care-practices